|
egyptianchica
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Leila
Birthday: 10/10/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: <3 dancing(tap,jazz,ballet,hiphop,
salsa, anything really)
MUsic~gotta<3la musica. playing guitar.piano.reading.sketching.art.
painting.photo.hangin with my friends.knitting.people watching.
ethnic food...(PAD THAI!!).tea.
eating food in general...i think
its my secret passion;)yummy.
surfing..actually i have no idea
how to do it...i want to learn..
and i want a hawt surfer to
teach me...haha. mangos.
crazy people.
Occupation: Artist
Message: message me
AIM:  LiLloulie88
Member Since:
2/4/2004
|
|
| i wish i had the stregnth to write in journal and record all my thoughts, good and bad, but i don't. i'm lazy.
and spoiled according to my father. i feel so drained. i'm excited for the future. scared that i'll lose my identity to the demands of some social hierarchy. i have all these inconclusive plans that i pretend are complete but really...i have no idea what the hell i'm doing or how anything is going to turn out. it should be exciting, going into a new chapter of my life without having the slightest ideas of what good things could be around the corner, but its not. Not when i have so many expectations to live up to. not only my own, but those of my father, mom, my extended family, everyone.
with me, its all or nothing. complete laziness or working myself into the ground. heath or binge eating my way to an extra ten lbs. all fun, or none. i want balance. i just can't seem to find it. i want to be able to work hard and focus in all the appropriate times, thereby allowing me to enjoy myself when i can. i want to eat in moderation, enjoy working out and stop obsessing over nothing.
i feel stir crazy. i crave solitude. thats unusual for me. i dont know why its happening now, but it is. there's some piece thats out of place and i can't seem to find it. i need a detox. a cleansweep of my insides, my mind, and my physical surroundings. i want to clean out my closet, my drawers, all those nooks and crannies that hold piles and piles of possesions i don't need. i don't need (or want) to go through everything with a fine-toothed comb. just a quick skim over the surface and i should be able to come out with what i really like. i need to downsize. minimalize.
este verano quiero que aprendo espanol muy bien. me encanta la cultura de las personas de mexico y los otros paises. pienso que si trato voy a mejorarme mucho.
| | |
| i feel fat and overstuffed and slightly fatigued from the anger thats diffusing out my fingertips.
i just want to be healthy and skinny again 
| | |
| It feels SO good to know where i'm going to be living next year.
Things are finally falling into place. This was kind of bittersweet but not everything is perfect because
I'M A HUSKY.
now all I need is for high school to be over, but everything will happen in time. i can just chill now. i don't have to worry any longer!!  | | |
| Update on my life:
oh wait,
I don't have one.
| | |
| I just made a 90's flashback cd and i have to say, its pretty effing good
I need a...i don't know what to name it. a diet partner? a fellow food logger? a weight-loss wannabe just like me?
whatever. i need one of those thingys. i am not loosing weight to be disgustingly skinny, no way. i like my curves...most days. Its just that i'm starting to feel really bad, physically and emotionally. my body feels heavy. everyone has a healthy weight that they feel good at. you know, your "fighting weight." well, i'd like to get back there because i'm pretty sure i passed the exit about 15 miles ago.
its really hard for me to hold myself accountable and i'm sick to DEATH of writing down every effing calorie that goes into my mouth. i need someone who will motivate me on the hard days. someone i can talk to about being frusterated etc. But at the same time, someone who is serious about loosing a couple of lbs too. when i get into this, i'm really into it. not obsessed but i would like to see some results in the next couple months.
a health buddy. lol. thats the name! time to go search the personals....hahaha.
| | |
|
